dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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