it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
