Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
