there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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