Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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