i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
