I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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