the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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