Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
