I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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