You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
