community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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