True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
