Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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