Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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