Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
