Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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