She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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