Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I am available for nakedness
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