Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
