My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
