this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
what day is it and did you see me today?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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