Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
