Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
