Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
