yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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