doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
