he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize