You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
