Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
