my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
