drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
