I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
