one might say we're banned from that church
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
