He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
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I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
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White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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