So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have fence marks all over my body
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
