i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
