Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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