That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize