I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
