i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
