The maid of honor just puked.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
