I just pynch a tree in the face
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
