You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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