Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
