I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
