very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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