He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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