I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
