I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
