Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
