Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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