oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
