this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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