weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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