So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
