i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize