you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just gift wrapped bread.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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