whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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