Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
