What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize