I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
