im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
