He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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