I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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