SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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