Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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