is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize