Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
porn star boner night. come get it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
